It’s only day 2 of my “stim cycle” and I’ve already got the lingo down baby. Yeah! I awoke bright and early this morning after a slightly erratic sleep. I had this incessant worry throughout the night that the Gonal-F I had used the day before was contaminated. I had received the box from my neighbor’s leftovers and the perforated edge of one side of the box was open. The pen had not been used at all, but I became paranoid about it being no good anymore (which is highly unlikely)! So, I opened a new box of Gonal-F and it only took me 5 minutes to inject myself with the hormone juice. I then spent 20 minutes meditating, ate a healthy breakfast and headed to work.
I left a message with the NYU nurse to see if it was ok to use the medication even if the perforated box was open a bit, and she said it depended upon how much I trusted the friend to have stored the medication correctly, but otherwise it should be ok as long as the pen was unused. I felt much better after that and went about my day.
When I came home, I watched the instructional videos again to get my head around the Menopur mixing which got me all sweaty and nervous yesterday and this time, I drew the meds out with a needle and not the Q-cap. I felt like I got more of the drug out that way so I’ll use the needle for the medicine extraction and mixing from now on. The injection of Menopur was dead easy as well. I think I’ve gotten my head around how to do this now!!
Unfortunately, I’ve been doing what many other egg freezing/IVF patients do which is go online to look for statistics. Quite frankly, my stats don’t look good. I’m 40 and in fertility terms, that’s basically over-the-hill. I really am on the lowest edge of possibility/probability here and it is a bit depressing. But a part of me trusts that I was brought through this process for reasons beyond my awareness. There was too much serendipity that led up to this point and I hope/trust the universe to get me through this. I’m aware that this may all be just a pipe dream, but for now, it’s empowering and I feel good. So I’m gonna keep on trucking!