I lugged my lazy arse out of bed at 6am this morning and ventured forth to NYU for my blood work and ultrasound. Taking the train and bus to get there is becoming routine and I sort of (and I really only mean “sort of”) enjoy the morning walk from there to Grand Central and then over to work. Or, at least I tell myself that it’s enjoyable. Actually I tell myself that it’s exercise that I need for my eggs because we had been advised not to exercise during this time, so at least it’s something. A resident administered the ultrasound and said that I had about 6 follicles growing fast (between 14 and 16 mm already) and that I needed to go on the antagonist (Cetrotide) today. Luckily, I had stuffed it in my bag with ice pads that I had previously used after a boob biopsy (and actually look like sanitary napkins still in their packets). Classy! The resident also said that chances are, I’ll have to undergo the retrieval as soon as this weekend! Eek!
Right after the ultrasound, I tried to administer the Cetrotide myself in that room but got all shaky and couldn’t do it properly, so a rather bruff nurse came to help. When I started to inject it 1 inch away from my belly button like the videos say, she barked “TWO INCHES!!!” and when I released the pinch as I injected the fluid, she made me repinch it and was tugging my hand away from my stomach. Turns out she thought I was pushing too hard and needed to hold the pinch rather than release it before injecting because in her words “you’ve got like NO fat on your body you know!! You’ve gotta keep it pinched cuz there’s NO FAT there!!” Ok then. She did call me “dear” so I guess she was just a tough love kind of nurse.
Then I went back to the office and was distracted all day, because I started thinking that 6 follicles wasn’t very much at all. Unfortunately, I then went online to look at what other women thought, and that was a bad idea. The internet is basically full of anxiety disorder and it’s not what I need right now. I left work early because of the sheer exhaustion of everything (including my job). What will be will be and there’s not much I can do about it. So my goal for the next few days is to remain calm and focus on staying healthy. I know there is a bigger picture to all of this.