Cycle 2 Days 2-3 Valentine’s Day

Since I’ve already been through a cycle, it has felt like I am walking down a well-worn and familiar path. I’ve been injecting myself with the microdose Lupron twice a day and then I went to NYU this morning for blood work before receiving my instructions to add 300 units of Gonal-F and 300 units of Menopur to my diet. As always, I enjoyed scattering all my medicinal bits and pieces all over my kitchen counter, mixing the Menopur with the saline, and poking myself with needles. I still don’t get why I get such a kick out of the whole process. What is strange is that Lupron is used by prostate cancer patients as a form of androgen-deprivation therapy, a topic that I know a lot about through my work. My patients report hot flashes, brain fog, breast growth, cardiac issues, etc etc. But of course, their dosages are usually much much larger. Having said that, I noticed feeling very hot at work today (though someone said it was the heating), and exchanged an epic and dramatic series of text messages with a relatively new male friend that almost led to a breach in our friendship. I was quite upset and was holding it in all day at work. In fact, I didn’t make it to work until the afternoon because I hadn’t slept all night and then my morning was tainted by this texting argument. I wonder, to what extent, the hormones are already kicking in. Maybe they are affecting my moods. Maybe it’s just Valentine’s Day and I’m single yet again on this day that celebrates couples. I don’t regard myself as a bitter person so I don’t actually think that’s the case, but I was a moody fuck. Nevertheless, I did make sure to celebrate life and love with friends over a great meal at a nearby restaurant. So I shall end this post thusly: To my dear readers, wishing you all joy and love as you go forward in life, no matter *where* you are at in life, and hope that you treasure all the wonderful gifts you have been given.

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