Cycle 2 Day 10 & 11 Marching forward in the face of adversity

I’ve been to NYU twice in the last 2 days. I still have 2 mature-looking follicles, and now it seems, about 4 or 5 immature ones. Basically, in consultation with the doctors, we’ve decided to go ahead with extraction in a couple of days. We hope that at least a couple of the smaller ones will catch up. It seems like a whole lot of money for very little, but I’ve come to the realization that my body is incapable of more. Any future cycle would probably generate the same approximate number if not less. I’m maxed out on the drugs and there’s no place else to go in terms of trying to improve my response to the regimen. Since I basically paid very little for the medications (90% of it was leftovers from another patient who I know) and that is basically all gone now, I don’t see how I could financially afford another cycle in the near future anyway. So it’s now or never. I’ll shoot myself up with 2 Ovidrel trigger shots tonight.

I spent yesterday freaking out about finding a person to pick me up. This whole process leaves one feeling so alone. I think for many of us going through this egg freeze, it’s due to being single.  The feeling of being alone is already heightened, but when one is so single and has no family in this city, let alone country, then the feeling of alone-ness is even greater still. I very quickly found someone though, but not before an hour or so of serious self-pity.

In the midst of all this medical stress, I also have an abundance of other stressors. I just realized that the lease I signed for my current apartment meant it was not rent stabilized after all and rent could go up to as high as $900 more per month than I’m currently paying in a year’s time. Talk about my inability to read the fine print! What’s more, work is completely overwhelming. I have 2 lectures to write in the next week or so and other large projects, all with very short deadlines. Too much!

Tonight I’m going to an Oscar viewing party and I’m going to try to remain relaxed and enjoy myself despite the lingering worries hanging above my head. What else can I do but soldier on?

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4 Responses to Cycle 2 Day 10 & 11 Marching forward in the face of adversity

  1. T says:

    msegg, with estrogen that high it means you have eggs in those follicles. i’m no doctor but I highly doubt you’re going to get “nothing at all.” i’ll send good vibes your way. Has your doctor talked to you about maturing the egg after extraction if it’s not mature? they may be able to do that. i know my clinic tried it with mine and it didn’t work but could work with yours. hang in there. i know all too well the feeling of loneliness in this city. the fact is though, we’re lonely because we’re alone. once we’re in healthy relationships we could be just fine. plenty of people are in relationships and still have that feeling of loneliness that is much more difficult to deal with. you sound like a wonderful person, and any guy would be lucky to have you.

    i’m not trying to sell my clinic, i know NYU is a great place but wanted to let you know this since finances seem to be an issue – mine took my insurance so aside from drugs (which were left over from my cancelled cycle at NYU) and the $30 per monitoring visit, i paid $2000 for the extraction and $1300 for the freezing. this is because they were doing a type of package deal at the time (which they can probably still accommodate you with – doesn’t hurt to ask – but ask your doctor directly, not the coordinator). they also had me on very low meds bc they think my body was overstimulated. i started out with 75 units of follistim and went up to 150 for 4 days and stopped all together except for the clomid. so that was also cheaper. if u want, let me know if u want to know where i’m going. i don’t want to write it bc i’m really not selling it. i don’t think they’re better than NYU, just maybe some place you’d want to have a conversation with a doctor if you can’t afford another NYU cycle. also, may be best to give your body a break for a couple of months to get rid of the drugs. in saying all this, i still think you have eggs frozen, which is a chance for pregnancy that you may not have otherwise. you’re doing all the right things so hang in there and don’t be hard on yourself.

  2. T says:

    ps: you’re still making follicles/eggs so you may very well get pregnant on our own once you’re in a healthy relationship.

  3. kopaylopa says:

    Hope your Oscar party gave you a night off to relax and enjoy with friends. Wishing you tons of positive vibes for the collection, and remember, all you need is just ONE good egg. I totally get the aloneness thing. I’ve been dealing with it as well- especially with the pick up person. But, of course this isn’t what any of us planned, but what you are doing is taking back control, and so that’s a good thing right?

  4. msegg says:

    Dear T and Kopaylopa,
    thank you both so much. I never realized that creating an anonymous blog to vent about this journey would culminate in such wonderful support from people around the world 🙂

    T, do email me your info. I have added my contact on the page so you can email me there. Thanks again!

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